The Time Travel Tales
Full Circle
I’m starting from the end and ending at the start line as I become aware of two sides of the same coin. I toss, flip and repeat. I let my chances take their chance. I need to embrace all the possibilities.
"Finishing a cycle can be as liberating as starting one," I daily attempt to convince myself. After all, the end of a phase is always the beginning of a new period. A revolution happens in my mind as I’m static but moving at the same time — I’ve learned that sometimes you simply have to trust the movement of life itself and allow the impermanences around you to also move at their own pace. The universe never gives us anything we can’t handle, it really has its ways, its momentum and its own flow.
Ending a cycle usually means exposing a part of you that you’re uncomfortable with. Either because you love this phase so much you’re not ready to move on, or because you are now realizing that you're moving onto better things and this moment doesn't soothe you anymore. Either way, you always have to let go.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t know how to end cycles. I've always been bad with periods, full stops and final chapters. I’m always adding commas, semicolons, question marks, ellipsis… I keep questioning, learning, teaching, caring, trying. I’m always worrying, wondering, overcoming and as I never allow cycles to end, I'm also never turning pages.
The thought of leaving behind precious moments, people and places that I love so dearly still hurts me so deeply that I immediately need to change the focus of where my mind is going. I feel too attached to this era and finishing this cycle also means leaving a huge part of me behind.
But something about this end now feels much lighter, brighter and less colored with darkness. Like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders and this newfound mental clarity has opened up a brand new world of possibilities. I see the end and I finally understand why its coming. I’ve realized that the only way out is through and sometimes all you can do is accept and embrace change, then flourish.
It’s a full circle. A happy medium in between what I feel and what I fear. Not essentially a full stop but a chance to catch my breath and once again, start from scratch. This time, with a completely new mindset, perception, awareness and attitude than what I initially had. I must move forward simply because there are far better things ahead than any I’ll leave behind. As I start to reach the end of the tunnel, I realize that instead of searching for the light in it, I need to find the light within me.
I’m hungry for what the world has to offer — I’ve always been. I need to do, live and see more as I allow myself to endlessly wander. I’m now grasping that I’ll only get to these new levels and experiences when I’m done with this cycle. There's only so many lessons this phase can teach me.
I can’t help but be compelled by the way life happens. How everything seems to synchronize at the right moment and time, how the stars and planets somehow always tend to align. I’m not sure what the future holds and I think that’s the whole point of the journey — to dive so deep into the unknown that the only way back home is to keep moving forward. I hope the ride is as smooth as it is unpredictable.
The pain turned into lessons, the dreams into routine and the laughter into sweet, sweet memories. The places into landmarks, the people into family. The full circle completes itself as I sit back and reflect on it, once again, finding meaning to everything I once questioned. It's truly impossible to not feel fortunate.
What a beautiful thing… to have the chance to know so much of the world that as a consequence, you get to know the world inside of you too.
